I'm Sorry
by EternalConfusion
Summary: Oneshot, 'What If' based off of Follow the Leader. Kate tells Jack why she didn't want him to find the bomb, and he does some apologising. Unfortunately, sometimes Jack just needs a good kick up the behind to get into gear.


_Disclaimer: Lost is so not mine. I wish it was. If it was, Jate would be together, and happy, and Jack never would have had that funny turn, and Juliet wouldn't have gone down the shaft...and they probably wouldn't have detonated the bomb!_

_A/N: How awesome was this season? 'Twas amazing, yeah? And so many bits with Jate potential...and ah. So I've not really written fanfic in a while, but the last few episodes inspired me – there are a few moments in the eps that I felt needed a bit more, like seriously, there should have been a Jate 'I love you' somewhere before idiot Jack threw the bomb down the shaft. So, you can expect more from me._

_I also want to do something post-finale concerning Jate, there's lots of Suliet (who I now love and not just cause they're not with Jate...) but dudes, come on, where is the Jate? I'm dabbling with the idea of them being back pre-815 crash and then landing, but remembering (whether the whole thing, parts or it's just odd dreams and senses...) but don't know quite what to do, so if you have ideas!_

_Anyway, this takes place in Follow the Leader once Jack, Kate, Eloise, Richard and Erik arrive at the pond they have to swim under to get to the tunnels. Sayid doesn't show up. Warning: it's not exactly pretty...there's fluff...but uh...you may not be squeeing..._

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"I'm not going." Kate says and turns from the rest of the group, after being told they have to swim to get to the tunnels.

Jack turns to look at her, "What?" he asks, confused.

"I'm gonna go back and find everyone else," she tells him, shaking her head slightly, while avoiding making eye contact. "I..." She sighs, and then finally looks at him. "I can't go any further with you, Jack." She's had enough of his antics, she came back to the island with him, because of him, and he's barely acknowledged their past since they arrived, and the one time they discussed it he labelled it misery. He used to be different, he used to love her too, hell, he even proposed to her. And then he went down this stupid self-destructive path, and took a part of her with him. But no more: if he wanted to blow up the island, then so be it, she didn't care...much. "Not this time."

"Kate," He says with a slight laugh, as if she's crazy, "you can't go back there now," he looks at her seriously, worried for her safety, as he's always been since they met, "They...they tried to kill us." And briefly, it's like he still loves her, cares for her, like he doesn't want her to get killed, she can see the honesty, emotion in his eyes. It's like he's her Jack again. Except...he's not, he's not thinking clearly.

"And what are you trying to do?" She asks, questioning his actions, his motives, and hoping he decides not to set this bomb off. She looks at him, stares at him almost, with a look on her face that he's not sure he's ever seen before, maybe when he was a drugged up, loser of a man, but he's trying to change now, can't she see that? He struggles to identify that look, disgust maybe? Almost... "Bye Jack", she tells him as she turns from him and starts to walk away, leaving him with his mouth agape.

And then Erik raises his rifle and they both hear him cocking it. "You're not going anywhere." He tells, orders, Kate, who is attempting to leave.

Concerned now, Jack steps in front of the rifle, "No, no, you don't need to do that." He says and trails off, almost uncertain of what's going on.

"We're not in the habit of telling our secrets to strangers; then just letting them saunter off." Eloise speaks up, sternly, informing them of who's in charge. It's certainly not Jack and Kate.

Kate's clearly had enough now, so keeps her back turned to them, and her voice breaks as she responds. "I don't care about your secrets. I just wanna leave." She can't bear to spend another moment her, like this, with Jack, and the Others, so she starts walking again.

With his hands raised slightly, Jack, steps in front of Erik, "Look, just put the gun-"

"Step away!" Erik commands Jack.

Jack doesn't move. "If she wants to leave..."

"I said stop!" Erik bellows again.

The last few turns in conversation were so rapid that when all of a sudden a gunshot was heard it shocked them, stunned them into silence. Kate's eyes grow wide in shock and terror; she didn't really think he'd shoot. Stupid, stupid...oh...she looks down, and brings her hands to her midsection and pulls one away; it's sticky covered in blood, her blood. She feels weak now, but she expected it to hurt more, so much more, and she brings her hand back to her midsection as she collapses onto her knees. "Jack!" She cries out, barely above a whisper.

"Kate!" He cries out, as he realises she's been shot. In an instant he's by her side, catching her as she falls and whispers his name. "I'm here, Kate, I'm here."

"Jack," she gasps looking up at him with fearful, confused eyes, vaguely reminding him of their first kiss in the jungle, all those years ago (or in the future), but he doesn't have time to dwell on that. "what...please...?" She asks, not knowing what to say or think.

"It's okay Kate, I'm going to help you, just stay with me, okay." He takes in a deep breath, not having time to count to five, hoping that one will do, as he rips off his jump suit.

"Hmm...Jack?" She asks, sounding breathy.

"Yeah?" He asks, inspecting her wounds slightly, before attempting to wrap pieces of his jump suit around her, as a sort of tourniquet.

"Didn't want to find the bomb..."

"No?" He asks with a slight smile, having figured this out, just not knowing why. "How come?" He asks, brushing a few unruly locks of hair away from her face.

"'Cause," she breathed in, starting to feel the pain, "Love you." She tells him, grasping one of his wrists, getting him to look at her properly. "That's why."

"Oh Kate..." Jack sighs deeply, and shakes his head. "You know I love you too."

"No." She tells him, and grimaces slightly at the pain.

Jack frowns at this, more than he already was. Not only was she badly injured, but she thought he didn't love her anymore. He hates that he let her think this, he knows things haven't been good between them for a long time, but he didn't realise she thought that.

"Well, I do." He tells her seriously, and wraps his makeshift bandage around her, "Which is why I was going to...and why I'm going to help you, I'm not letting you..." He shakes his head "I'm going to fix this." He tells her softly, and if it weren't for her pain addled brain she would wonder whether he meant the relationship or, her.

"Ow..." Kate lets out a small scream, as Jake tightens the bandage around her. "Hurts." She breathes as tears trickle down her beautiful face.

"I know Katie, I know. I'm sorry." He says as he stands. "I'm going to carry you, okay?" He gives her warning, and upon her nod, he bends to pick her up.

"Not your fault." She whispers through her pain as she settles into his chest, being as comfortable as she could be in this situation.

Jack shakes his head, unsure whether to tell her that, that's not what he meant, or that actually it is his fault, because he doesn't know the answer himself.

"Where do you think you're going?" Erik asks him as Jack starts to walk away.

"To get her help...to help her." Jack tells him, before glaring at him and then turning and starting to walk away.

"You can't..."

"No!" Jack exclaims, his jaw locked in anger, and tears in his eyes. "You do **not** get to tell me what I can or can't do. You don't get to shoot my fiancée and then tell me that I can't help her, can't save her. You don't get to tell me that." Jack breathes in deeply, before continuing to walk away.

"But..."

"No. I don't care." Jack says, still walking away. And hears Eloise telling Erik not to bother saying anything else. Jack looks down at Kate, and sees her biting her lip, her eyes clenched closed in pain. "I'm so sorry..." He apologises again, not knowing what for, still, "I'm going to help you Kate, I'm going to save you...I have to."

"Fiancée?" She asks as he quickens his pace, vowing to find her help.

"I promise Kate, I promise...when we get you sorted out, I'm going to spend all of forever telling you, showing you how much I love you, and how stupid I was." He kissed her forehead and holds her close. "You just have to hold on Kate, hold on..."

"Hmm" Kate nods in agreement. Finally, she has her Jack back, she just hates that it's under these circumstances.

"Jack?" Kate whimpers, and he can hardly hear her, he knows she's getting weaker, and he just hopes he finds a way of helping her soon, the medical hatch, or hell, even Dharmaville if it meant he could help her. "'m scared." She tells him, turning her face into his chest, wishing that it was all a dream, and that the next time she open her eyes she'd be snuggled up to him, in their bed, before any of the bad stuff started, before the alcohol and drugs, before coming back...

"I know, baby, I know." He whispers soothingly, holding her tighter, for there's nothing else he can do at the moment, other than hold her and let her know that he loves her. "I love you, so much Kate, so much...I'm sorry...for everything. I promise, I'll find a way to fix this, you, me, us...it'll be okay, it has to be..." When he looked back down at her, her face was turned into his chest, and worried that she'd finally passed out. "Kate? Kate?" He asks worryingly, and upon getting no response, but still feeling her breathe, his fear increased, he knew his time was running out. He didn't know where he was going, but he hoped to God, that he got there soon. He couldn't just watch her die, not after everything they'd been through. Not after all the pain he'd caused her, hell, if anyone should be dying, surely it should be him. He's the one that had been such a monumental idiot. If only he could take it all back...

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A/N: For those of you who want a happy ending, lets pretend that the medical hatch has been built, or they stumble upon Rose and Bernard (I don't want to risk sending them back to dharmaville!), he fixes her, they get off the island, get Aaron back, get married and have millions and squillions of cute, ickle, jabies. :D

Don't forget to review on your way out! I don't care what 'they' say, reviews are soooo better than apples, and who wants to keep the doctor away, anyway?


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